是否当个机器人就能好过了

是否照着你说地做就顺利了

是否对你客气就能好好相处

是否违背真实情感就是胜者

我不是对你凶 我只是情感与表情丰富了些

做不到你想要那样时时刻刻的温柔

我是不客气

那是因为不把你当外人 而是把你当亲人

你说我再不改我这暴脾气 以后的路会很难走

我不是改不了脾气 而是改不了我这么的爱表达真实情感 因为这是真正的我 不是你所认为的 暴脾气

现在有多少人能像我一样 用真实情感对待每个人?

现在有多少人能像我一样 不害怕表达真实的自己?

现在有多少人能懂现在的我呢

这世界太复杂 这世界太肮脏 这世界太愚蠢

为何容不了我们这些 除了直接 就是粗鲁的直白 但不图你钱财 利益 不良欲望的人?

太奇怪了。更奇怪的是因为每个人的奇怪 而把自己变成一个奇怪的人 只为了融入世界,宁愿失去自己也要把自己真我搭进去。

当众孤独

情感 友情 还是心底里最渴望的
即使去了一个地方 有各种收获
到了最后还是一个人 伤感也是难免的
最终只能明确告诉自己 至少收获多多

亲爱的过客,谢谢你

是你让我成长了

心理承受了多一些的孤独,自己多成长了多一些

与你在一块儿的时候 又感觉除了我自己没有别人的存在是真实的,或者除了所有人 只有我自己是虚幻的。这种漫长的过程可是需要一定的稳重与承受能力啊…

当然,我会继续向前

Heart beats heavily.

Maybe since 9 or 10pm.

At 10:40pm, I was on the bed trying to calm myself down, felt nauseous, weak and terribly unreasonably-anxious.

At 11:55 I got up for a nature call. I got myself some warm water, sat down slowly. Still feeling the heavy beats, started the timer and counted with the rate of 103bpm at plus/minus 12am.

Trying to hypnotise myself, working my brain at a slow pace.

Have a good night and a great day, pals.

Fam war cycle

A sudden loud voice gives me chill and fright.

It’s frustrating especially when I could sense the kind of harshness in the voice that’s directing to me.

So I responded with a slightly loud volume in a little frightened-frustration: don’t say it like that!

And there goes, the little daily war cycle between us.

She thinks that she was saying it nicely.

And I know I’m not doing what she wants me to which is what made her worried.

I can’t take it what she does sometimes after holding back for a veeeeeery long time, that’s where my agitation comes from.

I responded with countless warnings and reminders, which she thinks that I’m being rude.

And she doesn’t understand my warnings/reminders, which makes the cycle repeats.

Hmph.

She doesn’t believe me, I told her that her tone she gave the first time was different from the second and third time she tried to reenact what she was expressing.

I then again, told her that it was different, and there she goes with “nevermind”

She says “nevermind” a lot, everytime or most of the times during our wars. Without fail, I would say “stop that. See, again you said nevermind”

What the heck would “nevermind” help???

This is… unbearable especially for things that happens again and again and again.

Ah, the obstacles in life is really, nothing more than interesting….

I know I’m different, I know I’m very different in terms of personality and how I handle daily life and relationships. I know my way of handling stuffs is just so, different. But the root of humanity is still the same.

And I believe I’m not the only one like that.

It’s just, people around us happen to be not be able to be as easy going towards each other as we thought or expected.

That’s life, in my eyes, that’s what we all must go through before the end of our lives.

Just as if we were all trained in the world we are in, we could level up, we could fail but we could heal too. We need to pay to attain. We grow through obstacles regardless what they are.

I think.

I mean, not to forget humanity, love, peace, respect, harmony, equality, acceptance.

自闭谁都有,但是程度不一样,定义也不一样。

你对“自闭”的定义是什么?

如果有个人说“我自闭”,那是行为上的自闭 还是本身神经、生活等上的自闭?

随意说的“我自闭”… 这… 和说“我残废” “我胖” “我丑”是否有区别?

如果不知情,好的。两种选择:要么理解ta 原谅ta,要么理解ta 给ta分享实情。(但是这种事还得看个人怎么去理解它 怎么去接纳到自己生活中…)

如果ta做了足够的功课后还那么说,那就只能是讽刺了。

属于这不属于咱们的世界

当一个人生活在国家A久了,去到国家B生活了,她可以适应。但要她和当地人有一样的思想、习惯等…不是一件自然又简单的事。

当一个人失忆了,整个地方、环境、人物关系都陌生了。她可能有属于她的根儿在,但是要她独自一摸一样地生活下去是不可能的事儿。

当一个来自外星球的物体来到了“咱们的地球”,这物体是无法变成和咱们生活在地球的人一样。她还是有她自己的元素、思想、习惯、世界等。她终究还是外星人。